polyphony.

3:38am.

can't sleep.
or rather, opting not to.

got a gang of brainfodder on the plate.

i dunno. 15 minutes ago, i felt like writing, but the feeling's all but left.

anyway.

i start class next monday. at approximately 7pm, i'll be at the university of the arts, taking on my first pseudo-legit recording engineering course. i'm excited. it's not new york, but i figure that any education beyond fiddling with my $40 mixer to wit's end is a substantial come up. i nearly went broke when i registered for classes, so pauper mode for the next few weeks.

i've been pretty self-reflective lately, lots of personal inspection... i guess i'm trying to solidify myself as who i wanna be, beyond music and dreams and all that. i really been trying to decide how God's going to fit in my life. challenging all the little precepts and writs that were handed to me before i had the ability to comprehend them properly.

it's funny, because as i do it, as i "contemplate my navel" as my mother would say, i become more and more apathetic... it's hard to explain. but the process is callousing, to say the least. i guess everybody gets hardened, to an extent, by their experiences and confrontations with reality.

but, my belief in God is stronger than ever. as is my belief in myself. if i could only reconcile my responsiblity to the God that i believe in, i'd be good, i think.

i've started praying more. a discussion i recently had with my father restored my need to employ it. i prayed on the phone while she slept. i know, in her sweet little subconscious, she heard me. and that's good, i had a lot to say about her.

i started a photoblog today. there's nothing to see yet, i'll probably butcher the html in the template before the blog will hit stores, but know that it's on the way. i like taking pictures. i bought a digital camera. it only makes sense. i don't forsee any direction with the blog, just a toilet bowl for my photoshit.

i have a million friends i called in forever. i'm terrible with keeping up with folk, and i'd be a liar if i said that i'm working on it. the desire to be better is there, but something's amiss in the process.

and isn't it ironic that i'm lonely right now, as i type? ha.

...i had something to say when i clicked "Create Post". i don't know what it was, anymore. and it's gone.

whatever.

january 24th will be special.
march 5th will be special.

i'm tryna make this whole year special.
lord willin.

update.

i'm cool. on my hustle jawn, quiet as kept.
nobody understands fully, but they'll soon get it.
kinda in a somber mood; been that way pretty much all day.

i'll get over it.

so. i went to nyc and it was ok. it was cold. it rained a bit.
but i dont see myself getting up there by march. too much money, too little time.

alas.
but the dream's not dead yet. i have plans, it aint over.

:)

i got pics, tho.





the beatmachine and the plastic ebony and ivory keys.



zippy!



the numark pt01, otherwise known as OurBaby.



records.



..and more records. there are more but i got tired of shooting records. you get the idea.

and somehow, my beats STILL just dont do it for me.