polyphony.

do they really listen?

i am by no means a talker. it could be said that i appear disinterested at times, because of my lack of conversational offering. therefore, it's rare for me to really open up and "divulge" information, especially when it's close to my heart.

that bein said, once the floodgates open, i'm a broken faucet. honestly, if i get beyond the point of comfortability, wherein i feel prepared to speak my mind to a woman, i'll run off at the fucking mouth.

but honestly.. i have never had an experience where it felt like the woman i'm speaking to REALLY gives two flying shits. or one, for that matter.

i had a friend once who warned me against telling "these broads your personal business. these women don't wanna hear that shit!"

...word.

now at first, i'd dismiss his bullshit, because he was usually cooming from left field with his statements, and more importantly, he had as much experience with women as i did. maybe a bit more. besides, they were all assholes and smuts... what did he know, right? of course they don't wanna hear your dreams. jawns is tryna fuck! so i ignored him.

i later tested his theory straight up, and asked a respectable, intelligent young woman whether or not she found that unattractive.

in a round about way, she said yeah.

i think she sensed that i my standpoint was one of a man who had done this before, so she beat around bushes and tiptoed over hot coals, but she basically said yeah, it ain't really cute.

now, i don't think that's fucking fair, because i love to listen to people's dreams. i mean, i'm a damn GOOD listener. if it's one thing i take pride in myself in doing, i like to listen to people. it only gets better when i have a romantic interest in a lady. i know quite a few chicks' life stories, because i make my ear such a comfortable place.

what's wrong with giving me that shit in return?

i guess some women just like to hear themselves talk. i've seen that 1st hand, and it's nauseating in the least. i'm telling you, indifference when it comes to my personals... man... yo.

you could be a lump of 4hr old SHIT with a brain and a mouth. if you are genuinely interested in what i have to say, i'll want you around. i'll keep you around. i dunno... i mean, i know i can't be THAT fuckin boring. it's like, when i'm talking, a large percentage of the women i have spoken to get this glazed look about their eyes, trance out, and pop off obligatory "mhmms" and "uh huhs" until i stop, and then they'll interject with more voice masturbation. and it's crazy, because when it's THEM talking, there are two people genuinely interested.

fuck, that shit pisses me off.

i've asked a few of them whether they are interested in what i'm talking about. of course they say yes, but... i dunno. i'm just not convinced.

*sigh*

ANYway.

look!



me as a youngin. i think i was like, 8 months or so. babies are the best, yo. i'ont necessarily want one just yet, but they are cool lil things.

i wonder how much my kids'll look like me. i think i'd make good lookin kids. well, i HOPE i do.

lol.. moms told me that people thought i was a girl for a while. i had a lotta hair... it got to the point where she had cut it down to stop the misjudgin. i still maintain she shoulda given me cornrows. them shits woulda been HOT!

hmm.. i may have an interesting story tomorrow, depending on how things go with... things. we'll see.

i'll holla tho. tired of typing.

payce.