polyphony.

3:38am.

can't sleep.
or rather, opting not to.

got a gang of brainfodder on the plate.

i dunno. 15 minutes ago, i felt like writing, but the feeling's all but left.

anyway.

i start class next monday. at approximately 7pm, i'll be at the university of the arts, taking on my first pseudo-legit recording engineering course. i'm excited. it's not new york, but i figure that any education beyond fiddling with my $40 mixer to wit's end is a substantial come up. i nearly went broke when i registered for classes, so pauper mode for the next few weeks.

i've been pretty self-reflective lately, lots of personal inspection... i guess i'm trying to solidify myself as who i wanna be, beyond music and dreams and all that. i really been trying to decide how God's going to fit in my life. challenging all the little precepts and writs that were handed to me before i had the ability to comprehend them properly.

it's funny, because as i do it, as i "contemplate my navel" as my mother would say, i become more and more apathetic... it's hard to explain. but the process is callousing, to say the least. i guess everybody gets hardened, to an extent, by their experiences and confrontations with reality.

but, my belief in God is stronger than ever. as is my belief in myself. if i could only reconcile my responsiblity to the God that i believe in, i'd be good, i think.

i've started praying more. a discussion i recently had with my father restored my need to employ it. i prayed on the phone while she slept. i know, in her sweet little subconscious, she heard me. and that's good, i had a lot to say about her.

i started a photoblog today. there's nothing to see yet, i'll probably butcher the html in the template before the blog will hit stores, but know that it's on the way. i like taking pictures. i bought a digital camera. it only makes sense. i don't forsee any direction with the blog, just a toilet bowl for my photoshit.

i have a million friends i called in forever. i'm terrible with keeping up with folk, and i'd be a liar if i said that i'm working on it. the desire to be better is there, but something's amiss in the process.

and isn't it ironic that i'm lonely right now, as i type? ha.

...i had something to say when i clicked "Create Post". i don't know what it was, anymore. and it's gone.

whatever.

january 24th will be special.
march 5th will be special.

i'm tryna make this whole year special.
lord willin.