polyphony.

2004 & etc.

just got back from a much needed excursion today.

as it is the beginning of a new year, a symbol of things recycling- i feel almost obligated to have a new years' resolve.
plus i'm a biter.

but 1st, lemme catch up. it's been a minute.

i didn't do much job searching over the break. honestly, within the depths of dave, i knew i wasn't going to. i can see the next 10 years panning out before my own wretched eyes. i'm plodding away everyday with this dipshit job that systematically consumes large portions of my time, finding respite on the weekends, which in theory, i should be using to find a better job. of course, i'll be unproductive, for the sheer fact that i've earned a weekend of bullshit.

vicious cycle.

*sigh*

it's gotta be a better way, yo.

i still have to sit down and finish my review of the concert on the 29th. the more i think about, the more i'm like, 'eh'. it really wasn't great, in any sense of the word. it almost seemed thrown together, a contrived piece of gobbeldygook... i mean, black thought was READING HIS RHYMES FROM A CHEAT SHEET?! are you kidding me?

the show started to drag by the time aesop rock, lif, and the lif hairbeast hit the middle of their set.

it was overkill. i cannot give it a good review. pete & c.l., jean grae, skillz & lb were the only other worthwhile acts. and cats slept on mecca and the soul brother...!

i digress, though- the point is, i need to work a halfway interesting review out of the show.

i feel like i've got so much work to do, overwhelmingly so... like, my whole life, i've been playing catch up with myself. i have this image of who i should be, and i'm always chasing him, always at least 3 steps behind, and losing ground by the minute.

so, i believe i do need some resolution, some sort of flowchart for restoration of order.

i resolve to

1. develop a schedule for myself and adhere to it. i have a history of gross mismanagement of time, and that needs to stop.
2. drive more.
3. flirt less.
4. read more. way more. a book a month.
5. gain at least 20 lbs.
6. get the fly phoenix emblazonment. 'cause y'all ain't ready.
7. in no uncertain terms, refuse bullshit from anybody. this means you.
8. cut down on my own bullshit. i have alot, people. i'm just good at pretending i don't. which, alas, is bullshit.
9. learn and effectively implement into my vocabulary one new word a week. i originally thought one word a day, but that's really ambitious.
10. learn one new skill to augment my resume.
11. learn about investing, and start up a small mutual fund.
12. learn some business basics, maybe take a class.
13. leave the country, at least once.
14. talk dirty in bed, without offending myself.
15. grow a beard.
16. get at least one piece up, or one throwie, and not get arrested. (throwies are much more feasible ventures. see me 'round summer on this one.)
17. purchase a vestax handy trax. i'm no digging purist who refuses to listen to records until i get home. i don't have the kind of money flow required to purchase blindly. this shit'll pay for itself in 6 months.
18. purchase a 35mm slr.
19. make at least one beat that is undeniably good.
20. go record shopping once a week.

i know i have more, but for now, this'll do. it'll be hard enough trying to stay in line with the first 10.

i also need to re-assess and prioritize shit in my life... i'm spreading myself too thin, and some of my enterprises are gonna be dead ends. i know this. so, i gotta excise shit, including this job. eventually.

just trying to hit every opportunity with some methodized madness, see if i can't be on some real shit by 2005.