polyphony.

god is not optional.

i guess one of the hardest things for me to reconcile to is that the world runs on opinions, and that questioning anybody's entitlement to their opinions, regardless of the subject matter, is liable to get you crucified, or at least fingered as intolerant, fundamentalist and conservative.

ugh.

is anything irrefutably wrong?

is everything REALLY optional and guided by the current popular opinion?

i guess that's a hard thing to discern.

maybe my thoughts on the matter are as easy to generalize as one of those terms up there, or as a bible thumper/beater/banger. maybe the complexity of said thoughts counts for nothing. but i do not accept the idea of believing in god as optional, or a matter of opinion.

it does have alot to do with the way i was raised. i'll concede that.

but alot of it doesnt. alot of it has to do with...

blah.

ok.

i have no proof beyond the modal logic of cause-effect. i see effect, i fathom cause.
its really a can of worms. huge, uncontrollable, slimy worms.

i spent the better half of tonight back and forthing with my better half about such things. i contended that i wouldn no longer express an opinion on the matter, then proceeded to spend hours expressing why i wouldnt. it's safe to say that i am opinonated re:god, and i do feel strongly about it. very.

but it's tiring. the whole concept. i'm not equipped to do battle with what i deem to be incorrect belief. ive tried before and it's not fun. and she was being nice because i am her boyfriend.

maybe it is passing judgement. but im passing judgement all day if someone/something i love is being questioned. i dont think that's wrong.

whatever.

i'm making a concerted effort to not be so expectant of society to fall into a patterned way of believing. i promise. liberal cats, do NOT hate me. i swear im working on it.

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today sucked.

too many reasons to enumerate, it just sucked. it didnt help that it rained and i got soaked. or that i could find no records. i did something very special this morning tho. i'll get due recompense for it by the weekend.

thats a guarantee!

but yeah, otherwise this day blew horsecock.

not to mention that stupid job STILL aint call me back. they are really putting me between a rock and a hard place. i need some sort of confirmation to move on with my life... i'm holding out on a less lucrative but guaranteed position to get a clear view on the options i do or do not have.

cats is stalling tho.

ah well. such is corporate life. everything has to be brought before the board for discussion and what not.

yuck.

_____________________

im beat blocked yo.

*cries*