polyphony.

people.

what is wrong with people?

people are weird. and dramatic. and they're self absorbed and selfish. and they make demands they shouldn't be making, and they're inconsiderate, and inconsistent, and untrustworthy, and conniving.

sometimes they're good confidantes. sometimes they're sexy. and sometimes they come through in a pinch, some more than others. sometimes you find that person that's always there, can always be reached, always listens, always knows what to do, always is ready to hop in the sack, whatever. but for the most part, people in our lives are, at times, absolutely useless.

this is a hard thing for me to accept and ponder, because as much as i could sit here and e-complain about the people in my life, i fill one or more of those categories for alot of those same people i'm taking to task!

it isn't about them right now, though. this is my blog and i'm ranting.

i'm just tired of people this week.
actually i'm tired of them in general.
i feel like i try my hardest to respond to the interpersonal push pull, but when it's coming from every conceivable direction in unrelenting fashion, niggas just get tired.

or maybe it's all in my mind. nobody's beating my door down or slamming me publically (yesterday's entry notwithstanding) for things i have or have not done, but if i'm honest, i know that alot of people could say i've failed them at some point. and it's like, what's the point?

friendships are great, love is fantastic. but it's a hassle, man.
the places i go, i have no time for relationship hassles, dog.

there's another conundrum though. being lonely is a BITCH.

___

i dunno.

i was watching season one of the wire yesterday. in one of the earlier episodes, i'll guess about ep7, McNulty goes to see his son play soccer, and he's running a little late. he's got bubbles in the car and they head through LeaveItToBeaverLand and arrive at the soccer field. son runs over, McNulty and son exchange pleasantries and love, then the mother sulks over, waits til kid departs and mentions to McNulty that he's late, and that the son thought he wouldn't show.

McNulty says to the ex-wife: "You know the job."

he's right!

bitch, you know the job!!!

i'm a cop! you know my job! i'm a good cop too! people don't get killed or robbed or commit crimes between the hours of 8am and 4pm!

i'm a doctor! people don't get sick between the hours of 10 and 6!

aka: i can't operate on your schedule, i'm not you! i have to operate on mine, and if you know what i do and know that my workload dictates an erratic and overloaded schedule, respect that and play nice for god's sake.
point plank period.

_____

that was totally me projecting. nobody's said a word regarding my schedule to me. i think it's that i know what i'm gonna have to do in the near future, and i feel like people are gonna get salty as a result of it.

_____

ugh, i dunno wtf i'm talking about.
i love everybody in my life. but sometimes i wish that i had never met them. cause all we do is complicate each others' lives.

somethin's gotta give.