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April 26, 2007
yo.
i really wanna do some important shit, man. or like, not even important. i just want to do some things that register. like i just wanna be involved in stuff, but not other people's stuff so much as i wanna have my own stuff popping off that other people want to be involved in.
i know, it's very amorphous and cryptic, but that's the best way i can describe.
i got really inspired today reading blogs by donwill & d-nice (yes, that d-nice)
and they just got me really excited. for somewhat different reasons, but ultimately invoking the same feeling in me. like wtf am i doing with my life?
lol
am i really support staffing when i have all these supposed talents? not to knock the support staffers of the world, as we DO make the corporare earth spin, and how.
but, this ain't my thing man. not my bag, not my calling, not my nothing. and i'm waisting so much time doing it!!!
it takes a lot to get to the point where you're really ready to just step out on faith, butt naked into an unknown climate and really truly expect to win. i'm assuming the fact that i have so much doubt well up everytime i consider it is a sign that i'm not ready. but how will i really know?
so many questions about myself and whether what i've got going is enough to even build on, much less succeed with at some point in the future. but man. i'm 27 yo. like, i'm not giving myself 15 more years to be bullshitting, yo. i'm tryna have sh!t pop like YESTERDAY.
man, go read don's blog.
that shit just sound like fun. i don't mean to make my envy so public, and i'm not tryna skip over or obscure all the hard work my mans puts in. i'm just saying.
everytime i think to myself, yo i could make do in philly, new york brandishes it's star power and it's right back to the drawing board. ugh.
april, yo. clock is tickin'.
The good hustlegrind pays off int he end.
11:55 AM