polyphony.

you gotta be kidding me.










SMH.

Labels: LOL

i wanna.

i wanna design. create. all the time. i wanna be good at it.

i think i can.

i bought a copy of mass appeal yesterday, and i read it pratically cover to cover. i was suddenly thrust back to 1998 when i was young, fresh outta highschool and believing in the moment, all it had to offer.

you know?

like, i wasn't so absorbed by doldrums, anxiety regarding the future. that's the best time for good things to happen yo, cause it's so hard to reclaim that innocent, wide eyed exuberance. i'm grasping desperately for it now, and i feel like it's coming, but it's not a TRUE exuberance, 'cause it's fueled by my cognizance of the clock.

clock is always tickin.

but yeah. every once in a while, i'll be somewhere, see something, when all of a sudden i believe in the shit that truly makes me happy, and i see the success in it... i had a few hours of that last night, in rittenhouse square, reading a mass appeal mag.

i hadn't bought mass appeal since, maybe, 02? not exactly sure why i purchased one yesterday. i think i just wanted something to read. but flipping through and reading about kids, my contemporaries; doing shit and being dope and committing to their dreams and feeling good about it... being young and independent and artful and new...

& there's always a "scene", man.
we romanticise the past "scenes". the hepcats and the beat generation, the various art collectives that popped up in the 60s and 70s. immortalized as some pinnacle of creative youth that can only be aspired to, not matched or eclipsed, when in reality, what's happening now is real and it's valid and it has a lot to say, and that will continue to happen, and it NEEDS it's own participants with vision. of course, we borrow from the historic anti-establishment; but yo! that's okay!

the shit was dope! it doesn't necessarily harm the historicity of what's going on now...

and in the process, our kinks will figure themselves out; were all the other movements back then perfect? nope! to suggest so would be textbook revisionism.

i'm babblin, but... you see my point? maybe it's just me, but i slept on the richness of what's popping now, for so long. the resurgent sneaker culture, the clothes we wear, the music we listen to, the way we talk, how we react to governing bodies and the ill shit in our inner cities, the drugs we do, our relationship with our gods, everything, it's all part of a greater canon and i'm a part. it needs to be nurtured, documented, pushed, etc etc.

so like, my biggest thought now is "what's next?"

i say that with excitement. anticipation. and i say it because i may be the dude to bring the next shit. i plan to be.

so many ideas. i dare not type em up 'til i feel like i can follow through. all i need is a shot though, and i'm gonna do everything in my power- and then some- to get it.

Labels: dreams.

i have a bad habit of leaving my ATM card home.




actually, it forces me to save money, so it's not horrible. but being out without access to funds is a depressing state to endure.

especially now, because i'm HUNGRY.

____

anyway. another day in the clink. work sucks. the area around my desk smells like fresh fart, the phone has been ringing off the hook, i'm hungry (see above), and it's only 10:28.

i ain't complaining though.

i've been putting more overtime hours in. came in on saturday and worked from 10a-2pm.
doin' my usual tuesday thru thursday this week, and looking to come in saturday as well. my money's gonna look right by the end of august. oh yes.

anyway.

Labels: i'm on my grizzy, work sucks

fine?



without question.
complete with the hermes birkin.
FINE.