polyphony.

yo.

i really wanna do some important shit, man. or like, not even important. i just want to do some things that register. like i just wanna be involved in stuff, but not other people's stuff so much as i wanna have my own stuff popping off that other people want to be involved in.

i know, it's very amorphous and cryptic, but that's the best way i can describe.

i got really inspired today reading blogs by donwill & d-nice (yes, that d-nice)

and they just got me really excited. for somewhat different reasons, but ultimately invoking the same feeling in me. like wtf am i doing with my life?

lol

am i really support staffing when i have all these supposed talents? not to knock the support staffers of the world, as we DO make the corporare earth spin, and how.

but, this ain't my thing man. not my bag, not my calling, not my nothing. and i'm waisting so much time doing it!!!

it takes a lot to get to the point where you're really ready to just step out on faith, butt naked into an unknown climate and really truly expect to win. i'm assuming the fact that i have so much doubt well up everytime i consider it is a sign that i'm not ready. but how will i really know?

so many questions about myself and whether what i've got going is enough to even build on, much less succeed with at some point in the future. but man. i'm 27 yo. like, i'm not giving myself 15 more years to be bullshitting, yo. i'm tryna have sh!t pop like YESTERDAY.

man, go read don's blog.

that shit just sound like fun. i don't mean to make my envy so public, and i'm not tryna skip over or obscure all the hard work my mans puts in. i'm just saying.

everytime i think to myself, yo i could make do in philly, new york brandishes it's star power and it's right back to the drawing board. ugh.

april, yo. clock is tickin'.

aight.

i'm going on a diet this week, starting today.

summer?

come get it.

oh snap.

i just realized Dilla's One Eleven is exactly one minute and and eleven seconds long. i'm probably really late with that. well, as late as you can be on an album that was officially released just over a year ago.

anyway.

what's good?

yo this is officially the longest week in the history of april 2007s. sheesh. it's like groundhog day, 'cept today instead of just being cold, it's raining too. wtf is up with this month? this has been the lamest month so far this year. january was popping more than april?

w p o g i t?

i'm really tired today. aside from the week being long, i've just been awake too much. minimal sleep for at least 3 weeks now. it's gotta stop somewhere, i'll try to make an official go of it tonight. go home, clean, down some mountain dew and turn the music up way loud. god knows i need to clean.

then, as my body surely will inform me, i will not be able to take it anymore, and i will collapse into a freshly made bed with a smirk rife with satisfaction, to be whisked away by the cloud 9 chariots to an undisclosed location where dreams are made.

(fyi: gobstopper bangs so hard. and busta rhymes murdered this when he spit on it.)

i've been scrobbling my listening exploits, and it's fun. last.fm is a really cool little time waster for somebody that listens to music as much as i do. now that i got it working at work, my plays are gonna skyrocket. i'm gonna add a last.fm quilt to this blog (i already have a last 10 played on my other blog) . the quilts are pretty. cool. pretty cool. no homo.

11:54 niggas!

5 more hours til i get off. :(

http://www.rappersiknow.com/

GRAB THAT WITH GOOD REASON!

so...

tonight i'm going to attempt to begin living like a human being.

don't ask me to expound. just know that it's very necessary.

__

interesting developments in the everyday life. lots to blog about, but not so much stuff that i'd like to go public with. this is what results when your internet life and your "real" life are so tightly intertwined. one is always in earshot of the other, and only the most silver-tongued typer/speakers can navigate that duality with any modicum of success.

bleh.

anyway.

i'm THIS close to quitting my job. niggas is blocking everything on the internet @ work. bills aren't really being met completely by the paychecks. i'm mad creative right now, but work saps that tremendously. finally, the job has become utterly transient and disposable in my mind. like literally, i don't expect to be here more than 6 more months. less than that if i have my druthers.

i know it looks like i'm hustling backwards, but i don't know what else to do. i can't help how i feel, and i've spent much of my life doing opposite of my gut feeling. for whatever reason. hasn't gotten me anywhere.

___

the girls look so good...© chi ali.

i won't speak on their minds. sometimes they ready, sometimes not. but the girls definitely be looking and smelling and everythingelsing good.

*sIgh*

i need to chill.

___

i'm taking a trip down to DC in like 2 weeks. there's a show, a paycheck and many folks i haven't seen in a minute waiting for my arrival. i'm excited. mostly about the money though. i'll take tons of pics and maybe even some video.

___

i'm starving. i was asked to take my luinch at 1 because the people who are supposed to be on phones all called out. i have the shakes. niggas is keeping me from my shrimp egg foo young. stop wildin yo.

anyway. 12:55. i'm out!

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