polyphony.

i'm merely postponing the inevitable.

in more ways than one.

firstly. i'm postponing the inevitabilty of my grabbing my bank account by the balls and making some major purchases. as many of you know, my phone is on the fritz. its' slow decay into uselessness has suddenly taken a turn for the quicker, a methodical descent becoming a furious plummet into being an absolutely anemic collection of lcds, silicon and plastic.

oh, fear not. it's still a whiz at calculating tips, and holding my phone number collection. but it's on it's last leg.

so i've been paying regular visits to the downtown sprintpcs store, and i've come across two phones that i'm totally enamored with... trust, y'all could do nothing but respect the cell game, once coppage is upon the kid. even if you don't like cells.

i mean, the one i can actually afford- it's so dope a contraption of technological excellence and aesthetical genius... i can't even post a picture, for fear that associate of mine with the fiendish hope of stealing my thunder would get wind of my treasure and partake, illegally... perhaps to suprise me with at the next common gathering event. that, my friends, is something i refuse to risk.

know this, tho- it's a monster.

the other purchase is a new computer. before i'm hauled off to the stake for such a ridiculous purchase, my line of defense is that i've been working towards a new comp for a minute, and this particular purchase will only set me back just shy of $200. i really need it, beat wise, and for the fact that photoshop and dreamweaver keep crashing. and, the booty talk clips are mad pixelated in full screen mode on a 19" monitor.

...

yeah. i'm thinking the cpu will be 1st.

secondly, i'm postponing setting up the interview with eneone. (i certainly hope my editor doesn't read my blog... she'd have my head.) i really don't have a reason why i'm holding off, other than being tired most of the time, and allowing sleep and work to displace all else in my life.

i gotta wrap that up tho, submissions are due by the 6th of feb. 1500-2000 words. *sigh*

half the time, i'm like- what did i get myself into, man?

thirdly. my room's repugnant condition is only equalled in quantitative proportions by my utter disgust for it, and for myself. i've got to get rid of clothes, shoes, just... a little bit of everything, and a LOT of some things.

oh!

son. just bought that new red mach4 something or another razor from gilette... man, i can't wait to shave! kid grew some facial fur just for the occasion.

holla.

alright.

let it be known.

her new blog template is dope as fk.
even the glitter isht.

nice.

re: the eagles.

(in response to g and k's remarks regarding the birds, i have to disagree.

somewhat.

1st, gene: how can you "hate" pinkston? his heady play, including a corner-of-the-endzone-keep-my-feet-in-bounds td catch against the packers helped put us in the position we were in sunday. taking nothing away from donovan, he missed MANY wide open receivers. duce staley dropped a priority mail-delivered 25 yarder in the 2nd quarter.

the only receivers you could really fault are james t(h)rash and, maybe, rookie tight end l.j. smith. pinkston's mis-run route notwithstanding, he's our best, reciever. c'mon. freddie mitchell was non existent for much of the season.

that being said, we do need a better receiving corps. pinkston could stand to gain a few pounds, although, honestly, i've yet to see a real reason why, other than averaging out the weights of his contemporaries. he's not injury prone. putting on 30 lbs wouldn't help him hold on to a few more balls.

the eagles were shook, and tight, coming into the game. isht unraveled when donovan went down. the defense was porous as ever, and instead of allowing the eagles to dodge bullets as they had done all year, carolina capatalised on gaping holes and soft coverage. because they had to. all bdawk's huffing and storming on the sidelines didn't put them in the endzone... you can't win playoff games on emotion and laws of averages. you gotta play right.

everybody sucked, and on top of that, lady luck smiled on the carolina secondary. go figure.

i'll be back w/more.

i don't even have to go there.

y'all know what i'm on today.
alas, hope springs eternal. 's whatever. all i gotta say is, #5 was injured on a very illegal hit, and that was the turning point of the game.

fackers.

i got pulled over by the ppd on saturday. in retrospect, it was fun. or, at least, interesting.

i wanna go home.

winter warz.

it's cold outside. very cold. it was like, one degree, when i stepped out today.. and had the nerve to snow last night. trying to ice my weekend up.

i guess i shouldn't complain, though. at least i'm not in maine, where the temperature plummeted to 60 below.

60 below? what on earth...?

no, seriously, what on earth? i'm sure pluto's temperature only hits 50 below. that's obscene.

whatever. i suppose i should be glad. winter finally decided to start acting like winter, launching a blitzkrieg on warm weather-conditioned immune systems all over... new years eve, it was like 50 degrees.

anyway.

i'm at work. wondering why it isn't friday yet. isn't it crazy, and ultimately depressing, how your body can feel like you've done 6 days straight, every sign your body emits points to the end of the week, but you've only hit midweek? it should have been saturday now, according to how tired i've been.

it's whatever, though. it's thursday, i can live with that. i'd just rather be anywhere but here. i wanna be home.

but, i'm sitting here, in a mildly chilly office, sipping coffee thru a drinking straw, thinking to myself, there has got to be a better way.

it's funny, yo. you see people's real personalities, their real m/o's, as soon as they get the chance to show out. i work with snitches and hoes, yo. hoe dudes.

nobody's snitched on me, to my knowledge, yet, for the simple fact that i've given them nothing to snitch on me about, but, the childlike behavior i've seen one dude in particular exhibit is just... disappointing. i can't put it any other way.

Jim is puerto rican, 45, a tall guy, very quirky, divorced, paying child support for three adult aged children living in miami... no driver's license... the first impression that he'll leave on you after even the slightest small talk is that he's somewhat irresponsible, a big kid, if you will.

but, initially, i liked him. he's funny, sometimes, and he seemed personable enough. but dude is a herb.

dan, a cat from a different dept. mind you, leaves the building on personal business, but doesn't clock out. jim gets miffed and decides to take matters into his own hands... calls the executive dept and complains to the losers upstairs that dan's not clocking in and out.

now, i've complained a million times about the quality of employment here. dudes don't get raises. there's no 401k, it takes you forever to get hired, and you get paid hardly anything, but you do almost everything. dan fixes cats' cars, he's sweeping, he's supervising temps, he does alot. but he gets paid hardly anything.

jim knows the state of affairs here. he, also, hasn't recieved a raise recently. in fact, as i understand it, not in the past 6 years. our manager talks to him like he's a blithering idiot. he knows that this company screws it's minority employees over... why is he clock nazi'ing?

these guys get shafted, let them get over on the company that's getting over on them every other day of the year...

OR.

if you wanna take it into your own inept hands, confront dan in person. don't be roundabout about it, letting him think things are ok, and then he gets a call and a lecture from his boss, because of an anonymous tip. i hate anonymous snitches, yo. that's the worst kind of person to work with. after things like that go down, you feel like you're being shadowed every day.

and it kills me. like dan's check is coming out of your pocket.

hoes, yo. hoes.

so now, everytime i see jim, i see a weasel... and what's worse, i can smell him before i see him. he's got some sort of hygiene issues he needs to wrap up. lugz and tommy hilfiger wearing herb.

i just hate that, man... i was on edge when my manager was here, but he's in vegas doing a show, so i thought i had a break. but here comes another snake in the grass.

this is why i wanna work for myself, man. blech.

tom's good business, tho. at least as far as i can tell.

i got hired permanently, tho. haha, dan was like, "congratulations, man. you'll regret it, but congratulations."

he didn't have to tell me that. i know already.

so... this weekend is BINFORMED's magazine release party is on saturday... i'm gonna pay my part of the insurance on friday, then my rent, and then ask for the car, in that order.

pops can't possibly front on that. otherwise, it's much too cold to be gallavanting an hour away from home. septa just won't do. not to mention the fact that i lost my transpass.

yeah, life sucks. i'm still trying to get over that.

anyway. holla.

162 million.

the lady in ohio won 162 million.

took the lump sum option, cashed in a cool $67 million or something.

so, i'm lead to dream.

if that had been my ticket... what would i do with $67 million?

well, think it out. theoretically speaking, you can live off 1/67th of that for the rest of your natural life. i could live like an exec of a small firm for the next 10 years with $1m.

and that's, honestly, as big as i want to live. i can't see the point of any more extravagance than such a salary could afford... it leaves room for reason. i dunno.

but yeah.

1st. i'd get a brownstone in brooklyn, the whole house. i'd turn the whole basement into a studio, with mad old gear... old electric pianos, old drum machines... mad vintage mics and shit, and mad mad mad records.

i just said mad more than once. i hereby retire mad from the vocabulary, in reference to large quantities of things.

i'd buy the house my parents are trying to acquire., so they could leave the loans alone. put my younger brother and sister through college, pay off a few close friends' college loans, maybe put them in grad school... get a nice car and invest the rest.

that's it.

oh yeah.

and

never

work

again.

at least not for any one else.

that's all i want, yo. comfortability, and the opportunity to exist as independent of society as i want to, whenever i want to.

*sigh*

anyway. jeanine from binformed called me today, and told me to get a story pitch ready for her.

*gulp*

here it goes, yo.

i hope she digs what i bring to the table. issue #2, here i come!

::to be continued::

*explodes*

man.

i just ate way too much. this gas is going to be :wicked:

hope these motherfuckers are ready.

i'm on a get big diet, again. trying to see a cool 30 units added to the ol' gravity pull. my arms are sore from the shoulder presses and curls i was doing last night. press n' curl. ha.

binformed's got a little get together this friday, i guess i should fall through... i've gotta get this review finished prior, tho. i'd feel bad partying up with them, and i haven't accomplished shit yet.

should be fun tho. happy hours are always, well... happy.

also- sis called about some insurance, and if we exclude my unlicensed younger sister from the policy, we actually get a pretty good quote.

i'm not trying to have all kinds of fancy protection that we'll never use. the bare minimum for the state of pennsylvania will do. but my older sister (who isn't working...) wants full tort.

c'mon, man. be easy.

anyway... things are moving along with the automobile. i'm excited. road trips ALL year cuz.

...oh yeah.
these mufukkiz is bout to catch some gaseous substances up in this office, yo.

hehe.

hey sak, i wore my hat today, because it was that cold.

now my head smells like sakling...

2004 & etc.

just got back from a much needed excursion today.

as it is the beginning of a new year, a symbol of things recycling- i feel almost obligated to have a new years' resolve.
plus i'm a biter.

but 1st, lemme catch up. it's been a minute.

i didn't do much job searching over the break. honestly, within the depths of dave, i knew i wasn't going to. i can see the next 10 years panning out before my own wretched eyes. i'm plodding away everyday with this dipshit job that systematically consumes large portions of my time, finding respite on the weekends, which in theory, i should be using to find a better job. of course, i'll be unproductive, for the sheer fact that i've earned a weekend of bullshit.

vicious cycle.

*sigh*

it's gotta be a better way, yo.

i still have to sit down and finish my review of the concert on the 29th. the more i think about, the more i'm like, 'eh'. it really wasn't great, in any sense of the word. it almost seemed thrown together, a contrived piece of gobbeldygook... i mean, black thought was READING HIS RHYMES FROM A CHEAT SHEET?! are you kidding me?

the show started to drag by the time aesop rock, lif, and the lif hairbeast hit the middle of their set.

it was overkill. i cannot give it a good review. pete & c.l., jean grae, skillz & lb were the only other worthwhile acts. and cats slept on mecca and the soul brother...!

i digress, though- the point is, i need to work a halfway interesting review out of the show.

i feel like i've got so much work to do, overwhelmingly so... like, my whole life, i've been playing catch up with myself. i have this image of who i should be, and i'm always chasing him, always at least 3 steps behind, and losing ground by the minute.

so, i believe i do need some resolution, some sort of flowchart for restoration of order.

i resolve to

1. develop a schedule for myself and adhere to it. i have a history of gross mismanagement of time, and that needs to stop.
2. drive more.
3. flirt less.
4. read more. way more. a book a month.
5. gain at least 20 lbs.
6. get the fly phoenix emblazonment. 'cause y'all ain't ready.
7. in no uncertain terms, refuse bullshit from anybody. this means you.
8. cut down on my own bullshit. i have alot, people. i'm just good at pretending i don't. which, alas, is bullshit.
9. learn and effectively implement into my vocabulary one new word a week. i originally thought one word a day, but that's really ambitious.
10. learn one new skill to augment my resume.
11. learn about investing, and start up a small mutual fund.
12. learn some business basics, maybe take a class.
13. leave the country, at least once.
14. talk dirty in bed, without offending myself.
15. grow a beard.
16. get at least one piece up, or one throwie, and not get arrested. (throwies are much more feasible ventures. see me 'round summer on this one.)
17. purchase a vestax handy trax. i'm no digging purist who refuses to listen to records until i get home. i don't have the kind of money flow required to purchase blindly. this shit'll pay for itself in 6 months.
18. purchase a 35mm slr.
19. make at least one beat that is undeniably good.
20. go record shopping once a week.

i know i have more, but for now, this'll do. it'll be hard enough trying to stay in line with the first 10.

i also need to re-assess and prioritize shit in my life... i'm spreading myself too thin, and some of my enterprises are gonna be dead ends. i know this. so, i gotta excise shit, including this job. eventually.

just trying to hit every opportunity with some methodized madness, see if i can't be on some real shit by 2005.